Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Margaret Estelle's avatar

The truth is a fascinating pursuit! I see multiple concepts at play here, each of which brings its own energy to the table. Empirical evidence is the stuff that exists, and our “beliefs” don’t come into play. The earth is spherical. This is fact. Belief is spiritual. It’s the radical notion that we can, and do, accept that which we cannot see. Therefore, I don’t “believe” that the Earth spherical; I accept empirical evidence that it is so. On the other hand, I practice cunning folk rituals, not because I have empirical evidence that they work, but because I *believe* they work.

Expand full comment
Leo in L.A.'s avatar

Great read. So complex.

For me personally, I make the distinction between reality and perspective. Instead of truth and not truth. Because I think that’s where people get really confused.

Reality is reality. Our interpretation of it is perspective. And there’s lots of philosophical breakdowns in there, but it always comes back to that. As a psychotherapist might say, our feelings are accurate, the narrative is often not.

Not knowing your exact exchange with that friend, I can only hazard a guess that may or may not feel accurate for you.

But one of the things my therapist often says to me is that, in a magnanimous effort to understand what happened between myself and another person, I often take on the fault of the situation because I have afforded them much more credit for capacity than they are capable of.

To break that down further, here is one of my favorite quotations: “

"You can’t control how other people receive your energy. Anything you do or say gets filtered through the lens of whatever they are going through at the moment, which is not about you. Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible.”

-- Nanea Hoffman

The reality in that situation is that you’re both human. And by your description, you made an error in judgment. And the other person was not able to accept your explanation —but that does not make their conclusion truth. It makes it a perspective screened through their own issues.

They are looking at the situation through their lens and their applied narrative. That does not make it a truth. They can call it their truth, and that defensively clouds the issue. It’s not their truth. It’s their narrative.

Again for me personally when you get into questioning what is truth, it gets very cloudy very quickly. But when you realize that there is reality, and everyone has a perspective and a narrative they place on that reality, it’s almost inarguable.

All that aside, I’m really sorry that they were not able to see or accept your real intentions through their lens.

Expand full comment
32 more comments...

No posts