Actual Client Reading... ANONYMISED

... with a past lives sub-theme! My client suggested sharing this...

May 17, 2025

Hiya Substackers & Tarotistas 👋🏼

What follows is a reading I completed last week for a writer wanting insight into her current “failing” relationship with writing. She also asked about a recently begun… confusing… online relationship and how it impacts on her in two key areas. So…

… in the interests of confidentiality, let’s rename the writer, Carrie, and the newcomer Paul… and if you guess the celebrity couple I borrowed these names from you earn a big gold 🌟

Now, to be very clear, I would NEVER post a reading for someone without their express consent in triplicate, signed using my own blood! I was very uneasy about doing it here, but Carrie took a lot from this reading, and generously suggested I share it, as it may offer something helpful for other writers.

And… here’s the thing… there is an interesting sub-plot here about Carrie’s present relationship possibly reflecting a troubled past life relationship, which concerned her, too. My question to you all is… how would you have handled this particular query (see position 7 below)? 🤔

Finally, edits for privacy aside, this is the actual reading, in its entirety. I developed this spread from Carrie’s voicemail message outlining her needs… here it is… I’d love your feedback on how it could have been improved, please feel absolutely free to comment below… ⤵

Let’s Tarot…

For your eyes only! Once you have taken what you need from this let me know, and I will delete this draft1 to avoid accidents, ok? I really hope there is something in the below that can help you find some answers right now. I have included questions, as promised, in the hope that they will help 🙏🏼 Your answers are privately for you, and I am not asking you to share them with me 😊

I made this reading with the Tarot of the Abyss, as it kinda felt that’s where you are at the moment… I felt that maybe the Robin Wood Tarot mightn’t have hit the right tone! 😄

OK… here we go… there are two images here for this spread, and they should be read flowing from the bottom upwards… ⬆️

1 - Why is my connection with writing “breaking”? - Nine of Pentacles

The peace and equanimity she radiates indicates that she is someone who has achieved her goals in life.2

This one really surprised me! I was expecting a Three of Swords, or similar. Then I thought about a couple of things that you said in your voicemail… “Poetry is easy…” and “Everything for the novel is planned out” and it struck me that you may very well be at a hiatus where you feel that everything is ready to go, you know that you can do it, and now it is simply a matter of finding the motivation.

…discover the simple joy in what you have achieved, and the fact that you don’t have to worry at this time.

I read this card as you having arrived at a very good place with both your skills and your planning. You are near completion with your novel (planning at least), and completion lacks any kind of challenge for you with poetry. Numerologically, this card is a nine… end of a cycle, and the earth element corresponding to the Pentacles is manifestation. In short… where is the challenge?

I think it is ‘breaking’ because, I imagine you thrive on challenge as a writer… and lack of it diminishes your joy and dulls your relationship with writing. Maybe a new approach is needed?

What sort of writing brings you most joy?
Ever tried haikus? 😊

2 - What will revive my energy? - Five of Cups

The two full cups bear the runes of Dagaz, symbol of hope and Eihwaz, symbol of rebirth and endurance… This is the moment where you choose whether to see the glass as half empty or half full. It’s all a matter of perspective and dwelling on things that cannot be changed will only fix you in your suffering.

In your voicemail you query whether your current funk is a mental thing, or an emotional one. This card tells me that the way back is through emotion, not through mind. As the deck author suggests, this is a time to lift up your head, look around. It is also a five… five for change…

What emotions need to change right now for you to find your way back?
If you can identify those emotions, what are their shadows waiting to emerge? What would be their half-full position?

3 - What drains my energy? - Five of Swords

… sometimes this card can come up when you need to put yourself first. In cases where you’re being mistreated, it’s crucial to remove yourself from that abusive situation. Is there someone working against your best interests?

Back to your query as to whether this is an emotional or mental problem currently; this card is pointing to it not being a mental one. In this card I am drawn to the question, which figure represents Carrie in this card at the moment? Given what you have told me, it is very hard to see you as anything other than the butterfly unable to escape the jar and get back to a... keyboard?

So… this begs the question, who is the boy with the pin and the smug grin facing away from the cards about writing? This was my first moment, of several, wondering about Paul, although I totally acknowledge that there may be others who could fit this bill, this guy seems to be most on your mind at the moment…

What does Paul do? Is he a writer? Publisher?
Is he pressuring you in some way?
Are you finding your level of contact with him disturbing your workflow?

4 - How can I repair my connection with writing? - Three of Cups

Whatever the structure of the toast one thing is always true; its joy is multiplied by the number of people sharing it with you in the room… The Three of Cups is a card of community… Take some time to decompress and enjoy yourself in the company of good friends.

OK, I did expect to see this one, or something very similar, in this position. This is a no-brainer given that you have already said that you have perhaps overestimated your capacity for work. Like most worn-out people, the relaxation and fun suggested in this card would be a great tonic right now.

It is also interesting because it picks up the theme of needing to find some enjoyment in your writing again (P1 above). The Nine of Pentacles earth energy is very well dignified with this 3 of Cups water energy; the break, and its repair, simply need to get together for a drink, a chat and maybe a good old dance! 💃🏻

How about doing something fun away from that keyboard for a while?

5 - What impact is Paul having on my work? - Ten of Swords

Wow! Ok…

… it is the death of a particular period or state of mind… Has [the figure] come to aid the man, or is he the enemy, guilty of placing him in his current circumstance?… Illness or being stabbed in the back by a loved one or friend are some of the possible interpretations of this card. It indicates an ending of some sort; one that has been forced upon you and that you’re not particularly happy about.

When I look at this card, I see the same dynamic as in the Five of Swords above. At this point in the reading, I am focussing much more on Paul’s impact on you, as you asked, and feel strongly that he is a central part of your writing problems (hence the linked shape of the spread above)… I feel there’s a link between your sending him your Past Life Story manuscript and your unease about him… you talk about things getting weird, and you also mention that he, “bugs me.”

Whenever I feel his influence is present in this spread, it is represented by Swords. Given this card, and the power dynamic in the Five above, are you feeling some sort of intellectual pressure, or superiority from him? Is this somehow damaging your confidence?

… the change indicated by the Ten of Swords is forged with mental, not physical pain. Have there been any warning signs lately that you simply ignored?

I note you said he likes your work, and that’s great (so he should, you’re a very good writer!) but I can’t help wondering (looking at this card) whether he is placing himself in the position of helper, or critic? Either, of course, can be brilliantly helpful… as long as the underpinning energy is well-meant.

How does he make you feel about your work? Do you trust him?

6 - What would be a likely outcome of becoming romantically involved? - Page of Swords

She is the avid seeker who has just reached the point of epiphany and awe in the presence of pure knowledge, as depicted by the Sphere of Light.

I see a woman on her knees looking worshipfully upwards at a symbol of pure knowledge. Pure intellect and brilliance. I don’t know whether you reciprocate his romantic overtures, and am really not asking (it’s none of my business!) but this card suggests that should you wish to go down that route, this is how it might look. So…

Be relentless in your search for wisdom and truth… Rely on your wits and acumen to seek and discover the root of the problem.

Is he an intellectual fascination at the moment, or is there more to it?
Would that be enough in the future?

7 - How does he relate to my Past Life? - Knight of Cups

… someone who is aware of his or her feelings, a true empath who can easily identify with the moods and emotions of others. However, just like he’s seen here pulling the ropes to the ship, the Knight of Cups can and will pull the strings of the heart.

A man of action, with deep feelings and the capability to express them. That feels like your Past Life to me, from what you’ve told me. Could he be manipulative? As you’ve explained the history, I suspect he would have had to have been! Teacher, legal professional, and potentially homosexual, would all indicate a man whose personal life would require some careful concealment.

In terms of your current situation, and fascination with your Past Life, it is easy to see how attractive someone showing interest in this area, might well feel like a kindred spirit. In fact, your own feelings regarding your potential past life, and the considerable research you have done in this area might pre-dispose you to find a connection, too… so…

What is your real gut-feeling?
If he is the reincarnated brother to your Past Life, will he likely have your best interests in mind?

8 - What is the purpose of Paul coming into my life? - Two of Pentacles

You may feel as if you’re being pulled in many different directions. This doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy the process. However, you will have to remain focussed…

So, the reading opens with Pentacles, then ignores them, before closing with them again. This makes me think of the manifest reality around you, and the way some of the emotions, and dark thoughts described above, inform it. And, of course, you’re juggling…

I think Paul’s purpose at this time is to highlight that you are torn between two realities. In the first one, you are a mother, with the wide variety of considerable responsibilities that that includes. In the second, you are a highly-focussed researcher, with excellent written skills, and a very strong psychic connection to a particular historical figure. Sometimes these very different positions will gently challenge your womanhood, and autonomy, and someone who recognises that will highlight this for you… one way, or another 🙂

Do you recognise Paul as a kindred spirit?
Does this colour your view of him in any way do you think?

Bottom card of the deck - Seven of Swords

I don’t know you, or your situation, well enough to comment on the following beyond what stands out from the guidebook…

In general, the Seven of Swords is all about hidden dishonour… examine your surroundings to make sure no one is trying to exploit you or tarnish your hard-earned reputation.

This was the card at the bottom of the deck, informing the overall reading, as to what is unknown to the querent.

Distribution…

There are no Majors in this spread. This tells me that what is worrying you now is not about life-altering changes. It is the day-to-day of trying to find your way through a challenging time, when you are feeling over-extended and exhausted.

Wands (Fire/active) - 0

Cups (Water/passive) - 3

Swords (Air/active) - 4 (including bottom card)

Pentacles (Earth/passive) - 2

Overall there is a good balance between the passive and active energies in this spread, so there is no indication that you are either suffering through in-, or over-, activity. The well-dignified water and earth energies together are suggesting that an opportunity for self-nurturing exists (and is, in fact, essential) especially right now as the swords-y winds are blowing.

Ultimately, things will change, but it is down to you, rather than someone else to ensure that they are in your best interests…

Numerology…

9+5+5+3+1(0)+2(11)+3(12)+2=30=3

The numerology of this spread echoes the point I make above about self-nurturing when we see it boil down to III·The Empress (elemental earth). This is a spread about nurture, care and making manifest what is within your considerable power to do so… but, even the Empress needs a break occasionally!

3+7=10=1

If we add the bottom card into the numerology we arrive at I·The Magician. Lovely! Everything here points to you having everything you need to move forwards, including Paul. Remember, the challenges in the spread are not insurmountable, they are just challenges, ok?

Conclusions…

The most important message here, although I understand it is the least interesting one in all likelihood, is about reviving your joy in writing and creativity. Perhaps you have now become so slick that the original, “Oh my God… I just wrote something!!!” thrill is gone?

I know this is an odd thing to say to a Substacker at this point in time, but, are you mixing in the right communities, or with the right people to inspire your creativity? Perhaps there are inspirational pieces out there for you that would help spark your revival… would it be worth taking a chance? Quantum Physics? Potato Farming? Cat memes? Just breaking the pattern, y’know… 🤔

Finally, Paul and your Past Life… the cards suggest to me that there might be some kind of hidden agenda in Paul (7S), or at the very least something unhealthy about his interest in either you, your work, or both… Dunno, but those were the cards that came up. I just want to say to you, be careful. Don’t give away anything that you would wish to keep private, or for yourself, ok? Please forgive me if I am doing a new, and good friend of yours, a horrible injustice 🙏🏼

If he’s related to your Past Life, and possibly that life’s older brother, then you already know enough about the dynamic of that relationship to remain cautious, or abandon caution in the full knowledge that there may be risks further down the line, and, hey… that can be fun, too!

Love, light, and laughter… always! 🕯️

And that was the reading.

I know it sails very close to third-party reading (Paul) but the focus was always on Carrie, and the potential impact of his behaviour towards her… it became way more complex when the Past Lives question was introduced, and that really bent my head! I have only the vaguest notion of the rules of how past life relationships translate into the present and would love to hear how you would have approached this question… please let me know below, ok?

I hope it goes without saying that if you are aware of the real identities involved in this reading, please don’t post their names in the comments.

I hope you have enjoyed this personal reading post as a departure from my usual wisdom reading posts, and it has given you an idea of what I look like when I do those!

I welcome your thoughts on the above, and how this reading resonates (or not!) for you... please feel free to comment below (I am very open to respectful disagreement and discussion!) and share this free post if you feel it might interest, or entertain, others, thanks... especially past life experts! 😊

Thanks for reading! This post is public, by client agreement, so feel free to share it.

Love, light, and laughter... always,